Healthy connections are key to success in any relationship. Whether it’s a relationship with your spouse, parent, child, family or friend, the way we give and receive love is a concept that never gets enough attention.
Gary Chapman outlines and breaks down the different ways that we give and receive love in his powerful book, The Five Love Languages.
He describes the 5 love languages as:
- Words of Affirmation
- Acts of Service
- Receiving Gifts
- Quality Time
- Physical Touch
Words of Affirmation
“You look beautiful.”
“You are a wonderful mother.”
“Thank you for taking out the trash today.”
“I love the way you played with the kids today.”
These are all examples of affirmations. Some people feel loved when their partner relays their affection through verbal recognition. Kind words makes us feel loved. People whose love language includes “Words of Affirmation” may feel unloved when they don’t hear this encouragement or hear a negative message instead (i.e. “you never take out the trash!”).
Acts of Service
This love language says it all in the name. The partner feels most loved when being served or shows their love by serving. Your significant other may show love by washing your car, cooking dinner or bringing you lunch.
Receiving Gifts
This language focuses more on gift giving. They feel most loved when their partners buy them a thoughtful gift or treat them to something special.
Quality Time
This partner loves spending quality, one on one, time together. Doing activities that you both enjoy, free of phones, screens, and technology, is necessary. Men typically enjoy more “shoulder to shoulder time” (riding in the car together, watching a football game, or sitting in the duck blind). Thus, lack of quality time can create resentment for the workaholic spouse of a “Quality Time” person.
Physical Touch
Some people feel most loved when physically touched. If your partner is a “Physical Touch” person, then hugs, affection and hand holding is where it’s at! These individuals feel unloved when they don’t get affection on a regular basis. Rule of thumb for those with a PT loving spouse: kiss every time you greet or leave one another. This will go the extra mile to show them you truly care about them.
The truth is that most people give love in their love language of choice, instead of what their spouses love language may be. The key here is to learn what makes your spouse feel loved.
Take the quiz here to discover your love language. >>www.5lovelanguages.com
