As a certified Premarital SYMBIS instructor, couples ask me for advice on how to save or help a struggling marriage. My advice is to set a firm foundation BEFORE the wedding day. Another important factor to consider is how our family of origin influences our marital relationship (whether we like it or not). The good news is we can always rewrite the story of our marriage. Although we know it’s never too late to get help, the strongest and most stable marriages have established a foundation long before they say, “I do.”
Recent statistics show us a few things about couples:
- Couples who date longer have a higher success rate in marriage.
- Couples who do not cohabit before marriage experience a stronger marriage.
- Couples who have done premarital counseling increase their chance for a happy marriage.
- Couples over 25 years of age have greater success in marriage.
Les and Leslie Parrott, authors of Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts, inform us, “87% of young adults plan on being married and 82% believe it will be for life.”
As the divorce rate increases in America, it is no wonder this generation is doing all they can to be preventative. All relationships are very different. Major conflicts, such as finances, raising children and roles around the home, are some of the biggest concerns couples are working through in marriage therapy today. Sorting through some of these issues ahead of time will help couples see clearly once the newlywed rose-colored glasses come off.
When a marriage gets tough, a couple with a better understanding of personal wellbeing, stress triggers, expectations and a plan for conflict resolution, can better navigate through the rough waters. They don’t jump out of the boat in the storm; they stay in the boat and paddle harder.
Remember, it’s never too late to start. There’s always time to save your marriage. Just keep paddling!
